have you ever had one of those days that you feel like a complete failure? well i am having one of those days. i did fine when i left work but it all went down hill after i got home. now i have to go to bed so i can sleep before i have to go back to work tonight.

so, how has everyone been lately? i worked over 50 hours this past week at work. not bad for overtime. i have been thinking about wanting more for myself. does anyone want to create a book club or movie watchers group? i think that might be fun. i need something to get me outside of the house once in awhile. i need something other than work and family to think about.

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so i'm a little confused, where can we eat our seagulls?

Current Mood: amused

so i haven't had much to write about lately.i didn't get to see new moon on the day it came out. i would have watched it at the midnight showing if i didn't have to work that night. i was really surprised that i enjoyed the second movie when the first one sucked so much. i was so disappointed when i watched the first movie. i enjoyed the movie so much that i am thinking that i might even go and watch it again. i am thinking about seeing if anyone wants to come out and see it with me.

i had seen a thing on the cast of new moon and they were talking about the other things they had been. i forgot that robert pattinson had also been in the harry potter movies, he was cedric diggory.

i am thinking that after seeing this movie i might be on team jacob. i had been on team edward while reading the books. so i guess i will have to see what i think after the next movie. i would be really disappointed if they don't do the last book as well. i wonder how they would handle the subjects in the book.

Current Mood: amused

so i thought i would post an update. there really isn't much going on right now. i am working my butt off at work. sometimes i wonder why i even bother. it is now after 3pm and i still haven't gotten any sleep yet. at least i had something really good to eat for lunch. it cost me over $30 for food for me, bf and kid. somehow i didn't order the sprite that i wanted. oh well i guess i'll live. right now things have been a little weird since the little one is down with some kind of cold. i just don't want to get it. work depends on me way too much. i think i have only taken 1 sick day and 3 or 4 vacation days since i transferred to my new center. the sick day i had to take after i had a visit to the hospital. i had been having chest pains and my fingers went numb. never a good sign. it turned out the i had pulled the muscles in my chest wall around my ribs on the left side. leave it to me to pull those muscles. not even sure how i managed that one. i've just been feeling tired all the time and annoyed with the lack of money that i can spend that doesn't go to bills. i am grateful to at least have a job.

well this isn't really going anywhere so i will just end it for now.

Current Mood: tired

well i believe that i've fallen into a rut. i really need a change in my life. i'm not really sure what i need. but i know things can't stay the way they have been. i go to work and then go home. now i know for some people that is all right, but i can't take it anymore. i tired of being broke all the time. i want more for my family. i don't really like change. i fight it a lot of the time. but i have to make some kind of changes or i think i might go crazy. well, if anyone wants to hang out please let me know. i really want some adult conversation.

Current Mood: blah

so i've been feeling really isolated lately. i don't really get to go out and do anything anymore. having no extra money will do that. i mean i go to work then go home and then repeat. it is really starting to drive me crazy. i hate feeling like this. the only time that i get a break is when i go down to my parents and that is mostly to do my food shopping. no they aren't buying it for me. i wish, they are worse off than i am. that is for another post.

so here is what i was thinking, maybe a bunch of us could meet up and do something that is free to do. now i have a kid, so whatever we do has to be kid friendly. i am in such a need for friendly faces to spend time with. please let me know if you have any ideas. i think it would be nice to get together with people i haven't seen in a long time.

Current Mood: sad

i was just reading Dear Abby and there was a reply to a letter called "Daddy Who Cares". here is the subject, Daughter Should Be Spared Pain Of Knowing She Was Unwanted. i was wondering if you had a child that was unplanned and unwanted would you tell the child this fact? would it enhance the child's life any? i say no to both. now when i was young i found out that i was pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy. the difference is that she has and always be wanted. i might not have planned for her but i always have wanted her. when i got pregnant my life didn't end the only thing that change were my plans. just because we have plans for our life that doesn't mean they are set in stone. my daughter and i haven't always seen eye to eye but that doesn't stop me from loving her. having or not having children is a personal and private matter. once your children are here you can't give them back. so i say love them, care for them and let them know everyday they are a gift. you might not have planned for them but never let them think for one moment that they were unwanted.

ok, no more speech from me today.

Current Mood: tired

well it has been awhile since my last post. the last week has been a hard one. one of our cats died almost a week ago today. i'm still coming to terms with that. last saturday my sister's dog gave birth to four puppies. so on one hand i'm really sad on the other i'm happy. the puppies are so cute. i'm worried about them though. they all ready have fleas. it is worst when the are right next to their mom. three of them look like mom and one is different. the smaller one is the different one, it has mostly black with brown and white fur. not really sure what to do about the fleas. i don't really know too much about dogs having grown up with cats.

on a side note, i was wondering if anyone has used your baby can read. i am thinking about getting it but i don't want to spend $200 on something we might not even use for our son. if anyone has used it please let me know. thanks.

i'm really tired so i think i will write more later.

Your result for The Social Persona Test (What kind of man/woman are you?)...

The Librarian (QTBF)

Quirky Traditional Beta Female

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Current Mood: tired

so, i haven't really had the chance at a real update. well back in february i bought a 1988 ford taurus. it wasn't a bad ride the only problem was it failed the emissions test and the shop wanted $1500 just so it would pass that test. on top of that in march it would of had to pass safety inspection. so i ended up selling it to carmax and only got $50 for when i spent $500 to buy it plus $146 for insurance and $47 for the title and reg. so that kind of sucked.

recently my sister and her two of her kids came up for a visit from fl. it has been about a week or maybe longer, i'm not really sure. time seems to fly be me lately. they will be going home this weekend sometime. we are trying to get them to stay long enough to celebrate our uncles birthday on saturday. oh well, she will do as she pleases.

my son is getting bigger and stronger everyday. he is so smart. he has figured out how to use dads cell phone, it is one of those touch screen types. my son has a really bad habit of hanging up the phone when i call. i think he likes to see what happens when he slides his finger across the screen.

well except for complaining about work, which i could do a lot of lately. i think that is all i can think of for now. my life has gotten very boring as of late. it is only work and home and then on my weekends i see my son and bf. that is my life. on a bright note i am reading the twilight saga. i have all ready finished the first book and have started the second one. i am now waiting for my box set of the books to come in by ups. i will be taking back the books i bought from the book store since it is saving me money by buying them online and in the set. i stayed up until about 6 a.m. reading, i find it that good. i have done that about two or three times now.

now off to some reading before i go to sleep. but i can't for long since i have things to do today.

Current Mood: blah

i am just not happy right now with my internet connection. i don't know it is the connection or if the sites i want to go to are just having problems. so this is my first post in a long time. not much is going. my son is getting big and doing all the things that a little guy should be doing. my sister and her kids are up visiting. though i am having trouble with my nieces cat. it keeps pooping in our bathroom, in the tub. that drives me nuts. that last thing i want to smell before going to bed is cat mess.

i haven't been out much, as you all can tell. i have wanted to go things with people but my schedule just doesn't work with most peoples schedules. i have also been spending my weekends with my son and bf. that is how i like it. but i would also like to spend time with the people with whom i call friends. oh well, i guess things will work themselves out. so lets see how long it takes to write another post.

Current Mood: blank

well my birthday is upon me. it seems like it is going to be more of the same. i don't know if anyone will remember my birthday this year. i haven't been able to successfully have a birthday party in who knows how long. i had wanted my 30th birthday to be a big deal party and that didn't work out, neither did last years. i am not very hopeful for this year either. maybe it is the fact that i don't have very many close friends. for that matter i don't very many friends. i don't think i should have to plan my own party. i didn't even have a real baby shower for my son. i kept holding out that someone would come through for me but that didn't happen. my son is almost three months old and i haven't heard from anyone about wanting to come over to meet him or see if i need any help with anything. i'm just not feeling the love here. it is enough to make a person down right depressed. things have been hard and i could use a little more support.

Current Mood: melancholy

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

well, i can't complain too much right now. life is at least being pretty decent right now for me. sadly, i missed a friend that was in town for the holiday. i happened to be out of town at the same time. didn't get much for the holiday. all i got was stuff that i most likely every use. why do people do that? well, what a year it has been. one relationship ended and another one re-started. i got to spend more time with my daughter this year. she is becoming a young lady, i got to take her out bra shopping for the first time. you know how that is. well, there was a lot of work. that wasn't fun, but one must work to make money. at least that is what they say. i also found myself in the hospital a few times more than i would have liked this year. i have some many doctor's now it just seems a little crazy. my dad would just say that i'm being a hypochondriac. i am ending the year with some really happy news. the new year will be bringing not only one but two new babies to my family. my sister mary will be having her first child sometime in june and if anyone couldn't figure it out the other person is me. i will be having my second baby sometime in august, that is if the baby doesn't come early. don't know, you know how babies are. they arrive when they want to not the other way around.

i also got to spend a lot of time around a huge bunch of amazing people. i have really enjoyed all the time spent with the people i care about. i also got to see some mind blowing shows this past year. a few of those were rites of ash and bella morte to name a few. there are many others but there is just too many to name right now. the year has been filled with many ups, downs and in betweens. but i have made through so far. so for now i'm out. i am running to go see rites of ash for my new years eve. so have a safe and happy new year everyone. and let's make 2008 better than 2007!

Current Mood: nauseated